No Callbacks!
by DormantShadow
Summary: Inuyasha and Kagome are enjoying a nice dinner at home. Their son speaks his first word. Kagome's not pleased, and a certain hanyou is in trouble... Oneshot/Drabble! Rated for language.


**Well, here's a oneshot I made… hope you enjoy it. Oh, and before I forget! Last night, I dreamed I had a fanclub! It was so weird. We held these meetings where we threw random wads of pasta at each other's heads, and discussed Inuyasha fanfiction, and- *gets nailed by pasta* OH GOD IT'S NOT A DREAM. WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!  
>*static sounds*<br>Kagome: Everyone, please excuse Shady's lack of intelligence. She never has nor never will have a fanclub or get hit by pasta, no matter if she wants to. So please read this work of fanfiction she made to satiate all your hungry, hungry fanfiction mouths!**

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It was a rather humid, summer evening; Kagome had just taken the hour trying to get her rebel child into his seat to feed him dinner. "Dang... it! Tsuyoi! Please, help Mama out a little..." She sighed, as she desperately tried to spoon the one and a half-year old dinner. The baby clamped his mouth firmly shut, amber eyes in a firm glare aimed towards his mother. Eyes like his father's. Tsuyoi had inherited his father's eyes, ears and hair- though his ears were raven black.

"Maybe he's not hungry." Inuyasha offered from where he was watching his pot of ramen boil over the fire. "Oh, great help you are. You think I hadn't thought of that already!" The tired mother growled at her husband.

After their marriage (Kagome's mother had insisted on a ceremony; Inuyasha had hated all the people there, minus Kagome's- now his- family of course) the two had decided to live in the Sengoku Jidai, where it made for a very interesting life among friends and family. Sango and Miroku were raising children of their own, a pair of twin girls, a baby boy, and another child on the way. Shippou had gone off to train, though he visited from time to time and enjoyed practicing his newly learned tricks and illusions on Inuyasha. Kaede, sweet Kaede... somehow she managed to put up with all the insanity, and had even taken Kagome on as an apprentice of sorts, learning everything she could teach her about herbs and ancient medicine.

Though Inuyasha remained his stubborn-as-an-ass, grouchy self, he had softened a bit around all his friends and family, what with Naraku being dead and gone. After he and Kagome were happily joined, he had taken it upon himself to build a hut out in the woods, close to the village in case of a demon attack (they still happened from time to time) or they wanted to visit, but far enough so his family could be together and his child could grow away from prying eyes. Sango and Miroku observed the hut to be lopsided, and though there were small leaks here and there, and yes, it was a little lopsided, Kagome loved the little home to death. And that was all Inuyasha could want. For Kagome to be happy. When little Tsuyoi was sound asleep in his bed, the two often spent time together just outside the door, enjoying the other's being there. Watching the night sky.

And it was really all both of them could ask for.

Kagome poured her husband's dinner out into a wooden bowl, and placing it down on the table. "Dinner." she sighed. Tsuyoi watched his mother's movements with keen eyes, focused on the bowl in her hands. Inuyasha picked up the bowl and his chopsticks, scooping up a hearty mouthful of the noodles. Kagome sat down in front of her son, picking up the spoon of mashed peas and carrots. Tsuyoi made a discontented sound. "Can you say, 'Mama'?" Kagome asked the child, "Papa?" This was a ritual done at dinner every night- Tsuyoi hadn't said his first word yet- everything was babyspeak. Tsuyoi whimpered pitifully, watching his father as he ate his ramen.

"No, sweetie, that's Daddy's dinner. Look at this! Mmm! So good!" Kagome's fist clenched in frustration, and she let out a pained breath. Tsuyoi let out a loud, angry wail as he shook his little fists. Inuyasha raised an eyebrow as he slurped. "Look, can't he just have some damn ramen already?" He said. Kagome whipped around to face him. "How many times to I have to tell you not to curse in front of Tsuyoi! It's a bad influence!" She snapped. Inuyasha set down his bowl, opening his mouth to make a retort. Tsuyoi's eyes narrowed dangerously, as he reached desperatley for the bowl of noodles.

"Fuuuuuuccckkk!"

Inuyasha and Kagome froze at the yell. Both of them glanced at their son, startled. Tsuyoi, now aware he had a reaction, gurgled gleefully and giggled. The once pinned-back dog ears atop his head shot up, alert. "Fuck!" He repeated, grabbing for the ramen. Inuyasha blinked. Kagome's face turned the color of a ripe tomato. And on Tsuyoi went, happily babbling his first word. He had what he wanted: attention. And with the crafty weapon of manipulation all babies have, he was wielding it to reach the ramen he wanted to try.

And Kagome was bursting wires as she slowly began to realize her son's first word was the very last one she wanted it to be. "You... didn't..." She said quietly, marching up to her husband.

Inuyasha blanched, eyes darting as he planned his escape route. "Well, it could have come from either of us, and-" "You are. So. Dead." Kagome's miko powers weren't even turning her pink in her anger. It was a fiery red... it was oh-shit-you-are-so-screwed-over red. And Inuyasha did the first thing that came to his mind.

Dodged his wife, snatched up Tsuyoi, and ran like a bat out of hell.

He shot through the trees, eyes trained on Miroku and Sango's house. Maybe Miroku would let him stay the night tonight.

Tsuyoi was laughing happily in his father's arms, and Inuyasha's molten gold eyes looked down at his son. Though he was scared for his life at the moment, he was happy. The child clapped, "fuck!" he cheerily said. Inuyasha sighed.

"Yeah, kid... we are fucked."

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**Just something I wrote in an hour of inspiration today. Hope you liked it… And don't forget to review! There's a little button down there! Press the button! I didn't booby trap it, I swear!  
>Inuyasha: You haven't updated anything in forever. You suck.<br>Shady: I realize I do! Now—  
>Inuyasha: Not only that, but you've found an interest in something besides me, and Okami!<br>Shady: *innocent face* No I haven't…  
>Amaterasu: *barks* (You have too! Traitor! We're your main-)<br>Dante: Wassup guys! :D  
>Shady: Me and Ammy are girls. Not guys. And I recommend you leave.<br>Dante: Why should I?  
>Inuyasha: 'Cause I'll kick your ass!<br>Dante: Bring it on, mutt!  
>Inuyasha: You're one to talk, half demon!<br>Shady: *pulls out Ebony and aims it at Dante* You. Out. Now.  
>Dante: *shot* …Ouch.<strong>

**I LOVE YOU ALL. SERIOUSLY. NOW MATTER HOW MUCH SUGAR I HAVE OR—  
>Amaterasu: *bark, bark* (Never, ever give her sugar! She destroys the world! It's 2012 as we know it!)<br>Shady: …I have chocolate. *tackled by two half-demons and a wolf* NOOOOES!**


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